It was not sex, I could get that when I wanted it. Clare and I were still keeping each other supplied in that department. However, the only person for whom I had any strong emotional attachment, did not want to be anything more than friendly. I was beginning to understand what it meant to be lonely.I was dreading my first Christmas alone, so when Clare invited me to spend Christmas day with her I jumped at the chance. The following weekend when I went to visit the girls I got a second invitation. Julie told me that the children wanted me to come for Christmas. I don't know if she knew how much that hurt. She didn't want me, but she was prepared to invite me because the girls wanted Daddy on Christmas day. That may not have been what she really meant but that was how it sounded to me. I told her that I had already made other plans but I would be happy to come over for Boxing day and she reluctantly accepted the compromise. She must have spoken to Eric again because a week later I got. "Diane, wake up." What, what... ?" Listen, in the next room, somebody is beating up somebody." Oh they're just having a little innocent fun." What do you mean fun? Somebody is being slapped in Kirsten and Sue Lin's room." Oh just a little hand spanking, only a few love taps; they'll kiss and make up. There'll be ecstatic moaning in a minute. Listen." They're giggling now, Diane." Don't worry maybe it'll be our turn tomorrow night. Go to sleep." Our turn for what, flagellation and lesbian love making?" Diane sat up and kissed Theresa warmly on the cheek." You want to do it with me now?" Do what Diane? I'm not a lesbian that's a sinful act." So is masturbation, don't tell me you've never done that." Never!... Well, not really; not... very often that is." Diane threw herself back on the pillow and pulled Theresa over next to her. "No Diane I'm not doing that with you, never!" Alright let's just hug then and listen to the next room. You don't mind hugging me do you?" No, just as long as.
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